


Dibble-Dabble

by lalejandra



Category: Everwood
Genre: F/M, Transformative Works Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-30
Updated: 2004-03-30
Packaged: 2019-07-14 19:46:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16047320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalejandra/pseuds/lalejandra
Summary: Happy Birthday, Lyndsay!improv: Ephram, Jordan, sparkles, bondage tape, Kierkegaard, vegan, Corona





	Dibble-Dabble

"You've never seen _My So-Called Life_?" Madison raised her eyebrows. Ephram scowled.

"Ephram. I hate it when you do that." Madison pointed her chopping knife at him. "First of all, I like Corona. Don't confuse me with Bright. Second, don't make fun of my feelings." Ephram nodded, and Madison continued. "And third, I was like 12 when it was on. So you must have been in single digits, okay? I only watched it because my babysitter -- "

Ephram waggled his eyebrows at Madison. "Your babysitter, huh? I can see you now, all innocent eyes and -- hey! No throwing food! It was just a question."

"You're a pervert," said Madison, but she laughed. "My babysitter was a lovely older woman with two teenage nieces. So she watched it to keep up with their lives."

Ephram put the piece of celery she'd thrown at his head into his mouth. "I like older women." He smirked at her. She threw another piece of celery at him.

"She was really concerned with my philosophical growth. Kierkegaard and _My So-Called Life_ , Sartre and _90210_ , Butler and _Melrose Place_..." Madison paused in her chopping and ate a carrot.

"...deSade and _Buffy_?" asked Ephram. "Did you even have _Buffy_ back then?"

"Yes, we -- oh. I don't remember. If we did, it was before the bondage tape and house-destroying sex." Madison ate another carrot and went back to chopping.

"Okay, so I have a picture. A babysitter with two young, nubile nieces, hot twins who liked to come over in glitter bikinis -- " Ephram leaned on the counter and winked at Madison.

"You really are a pervert, you know that? They were all kind of dowdy looking, actually -- no sparkles, no spangles, no sequins, and no bikinis. And they were vegan, so whenever they came over with her, we ate tofu for dinner instead of steak."

"Gross," said Ephram.

"And you're missing the point." Madison took her cutting board over to the stove and scraped the vegetables into the frying pan. When she turned back around, she caught Ephram craning her head for a better view of her ass. "The point is, sex fiend, that I think you'd like it a lot and I have the DVDs. Maybe you'd like to come over this weekend?"

"Well, I'd like to come over this weekend, but not to watch some ten-year old television show." Ephram leered and her, and frowned when she laughed.

"Sorry, Ephram, but I just can't take you seriously when you look like a grumpy old man!" Madison turned back to her frying pan.

Ephram moved toward Madison, but jumped away when he heard the front door swing open. By the time Andy came into the kitchen, Ephram was on one side of the room chopping onions, and Madison was on the other sautéing vegetables.

"Smells great!" said Andy. "What're you talking about?"

*

"Madison." Ephram held her face between his hands. "When you said, ‘Come over to my house and watch television,' I really thought you meant, ‘Come over to my house for the dibble-dabble.'"

"Ephram." Madison brought her hands up and cupped his face. "I would never, ever, not even in my thoughts, use the phrase ‘dibble-dabble'. If you want someone who would, you should date Bright."

"Do you think that Bright gives a blow job as well as you do?" Ephram burst into laughter.

"Hey, that's not funny." Madison moved away from him, and pushed him, hard.

"What? You can't possibly be serious!" Ephram moved closer to her again. "What? Madison!"

"Ephram, you can't really deny it. I mean -- " Madison turned a little. "We'll come back to this. I love this part."

"They're just _talking_ ," said Ephram. "Maybe I would understand this a little better if you didn't skip like eight million episodes."

"This is the best one." Madison waved her hand at him. "Shh."

Ephram cradled his head in his palm. As far as he could tell, this show was about a teenaged girl who was kind of stupid, obsessed over a boy who didn't care about her, and dyed her hair. So it was about the girl version of Ephram, except set in 1994, and she had a best friend who kind of reminded Ephram of Jack Sparrow, and in the end she got the boy. Although, Ephram did get the girl.

He snuck a look at Madison, who was enraptured. She'd skipped ahead to an episode about a new, and obviously gay English teacher. Very clever. But, Ephram reminded himself, 1994 was pre- _Queer Eye_ , pre- _Will & Grace_, and pre- _Queer as Folk_.

Was there a reason Ephram knew the names of so many shows with gay characters? Hm. Probably not. Ephram was obviously controlled by the American media empire.

Madison sighed, and Ephram looked over at her again, stretched his arm out along the back of the couch and his fingers brush her arm. She turned to him. "Did you know that Buffalo Tom was named for the drummer?"

Ephram leaned forward. "Who's Buffalo Tom?" he asked into her mouth, and kissed her.

"You aren't going to distract me," said Madison, pulling away. "Do you see that boy? That boy was my first crush. His name is Jordan Catalano and he's a big jerk."

"He's ugly. Suddenly, your attraction to Jay is explained." Ephram moved closer to her, let his hand move over her thigh.

" _Ephram_." Madison pushed his hand away.

"‘Man, they're, like, weird, you know?'" said Ephram mockingly.

"You're a brat," said Madison.

"Is that the guy from _Fight Club_ and the George Michael video?" asked Ephram.

"Yes," said Madison, "and can you believe -- "

"I see there's only one way to win this," said Ephram, and he slid down the couch, onto the floor, onto his knees. He crawled between Madison's legs, came up between them, and kissed her while unbuttoning her jeans.

"Ephram!" Madison slapped his hands away. "I am watching television!"

"So watch television. You do what you want to do and I will do what I want to do. The basis of all good relationships is compromise, right?" Ephram tugged her pants down over her hips, down, pushed them over her feet and tugged them off. Madison slapped his head, but he figured she didn't mean it, since she'd lifted her hips for him.

"You are completely -- "

"Sexy? Wonderful? The best boyfriend ever?" Ephram hooked his thumbs into her underwear and pulled them down too. He grinned up at her. "Just watch your mind-numbing, soul-sucking, capitalist television, okay?"

With his head between her thighs, Ephram suddenly became totally aware of his surroundings. The carpet under his knees, and the rough nappiness of the carpet, and the coarse hair on Madison's thighs. He hooked his arms under her legs, and used his fingers to pull her open. He traced the folds of skin with his tongue, licked his lips to the soundtrack of the funny-looking blond kid yelling about calculus.

"Hey, Brian, pull another A? You have the option of insanity -- "

Ephram tongued all the way down, into her, out, used his teeth to chew her thighs, the crease where her thigh met her torso, over her pubic hair. She kept it trimmed, all the way down; there was barely any hair, which Ephram liked, because it meant that there wasn't much hair to get in his mouth and choke him.

He wedged one hand between their bodies as the parents fought, pressed a finger into Madison. Two. She was so wet, his wrist was damp. She stretched a leg over the arm of the couch, pulled the other one up, tucked her foot under her ass for leverage. She pushed her hips into his face. She smelled like coffee with a lot of milk and a lot of sugar, and he fit three fingers into her when she angled her hips differently.

"Why are you like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like how you are?"

Ephram started moving his arm, pulled his fingers out and pushing them back in. this was way easier than actual sex, because his arm could move a lot faster than his hips. Bright told him he only needed practice, but until he could do it perfectly, he'd rather... well, not.

Four fingers, and there was Shakespeare in the background, and his back was aching, and there was a crick in his neck, but Madison had started to breathe heavier, and had twined her fingers in his hair. She was pulling on it, hard, and jerking Ephram's head.

Her hips were moving, just little movements, but still pushing and pulling back. Ephram traced the alphabet -- a, b, c, d, e, f -- and Madison started to moan.

A fight about someone's name and the dorky English teacher -- Ephram had a flash that maybe one day he would be the dorky English teacher that everyone thought was gay, but that would never happen; Ephram would teach music. Madison's legs were vibrating against his ears and cars were driving past outside and there was a wailing electric guitar. Ephram was so hard. He shifted a little to take the pressure off; coming in his jeans wasn't in his plans.

"I love this part," said Madison, more than a little breathlessly. Ephram loved that hitch in her voice, the one that told him he was doing everything right. He curved his fingers more, rubbed them harder inside her, added a twist with his wrist. He sucked her flesh into his mouth and breathed through his nose to keep the pressure steady.

"He -- " She broke off and pushed her hips up. "Walks down -- the hall. And their hands. And -- oh, god, Ephram, oh -- "

Ephram's lips were kind of numb and his tongue hurt, but he kept going. She was close; he could feel it. Her entire body was vibrating now, the hand in his hair twisting hard, her nails digging into his scalp.

She came with a cry, at the end of the episode. By his count, he went down on her for almost a half hour. That was true love. He was definitely up for the Boyfriend of the Year Award. It was especially hot when she pulled him up to her and kissed him, and licked his lips, and sighed a little. He didn't even mind that she kind of fell asleep, her face still all sweaty and red. He folded her underwear and jeans, covered her with an afghan, kissed her forehead, and jerked off in her bathroom before he left. It took seconds, so it was probably a good thing that they didn't do it.

On his way out, Ephram turned off the television. Angela-with-one-L and Jordan-the-Jerk were talking about where to have sex. Ephram shook his head. Boring.

*

"Well, you're home early," said Andy.

"He and Madison probably had a fight," said Delia. She moved her checker piece and captured three of Andy's. "Dad, you need to concentrate."

"No, we didn't have a fight," Ephram said to her. He pulled the orange juice out of the fridge. "We had a lovely night and I decided to come home and study my geometry."

"You're taking geometry?" asked Andy.

"Dad, pay attention," said Delia.

"Delia, Madison has this great television show on DVD. I think you'd really like it." Ephram poured himself a glass of juice and drank most of it in one gulp, the poured himself another. "You should ask her about it."

"Ephram," said Andy, "I didn't know you're taking geometry."

"I'm sixteen. Everyone takes geometry when they're sixteen."

"I took it when I was fifteen."

"How do you even remember that?" asked Ephram. "No, don't answer that." Andy's hand hovered over a checker piece. "Don't move there."

"Do you want to play?"

"No," said Delia. " _Dad_."

"Sorry," said Andy. "Ephram, are you sure everything is okay?"

"Yes, dad. Everything is fine." Ephram finished his second glass of orange juice. "Just to prove it to you, instead of studying, I'm going to play a video game. Okay?"

"Okay," said Andy. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure, dad." As Ephram walked out of the room, Andy turned back to Delia. "Do you think he's acting funny?" he heard Andy ask.

He didn't catch Delia's reply, but he was sure it was mean.

His cell phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out. A text message. From Madison. Was he not supposed to leave?

**best boyfriend ever!!!!**

Oh yeah. Maybe tomorrow afternoon he'd bring over some anime and _she_ could be bored out of her mind and decide to entertain herself by performing oral sex. Yes. Good plan.

 **see you tomorrow?** he texted back.

He was flipping through his games when she answered.

**YES**

No punctuation. Always a good sign. Not always a precursor to oral sex, but always a good sign.

  



End file.
